If you’ve been in the industry for long enough then you have surely had many experiences where someone said something about SEO that was complete and utter bullshit. And not just any bullshit, the type of bullshit that gives some people the urge to punch someone in their face.
Here is my collection of 29 things that people have said to me personally over the years or I have read somewhere that have made me want to punch them in their face.
Note: These aren’t in any priority order of stupidity, I’ve just added to this list periodically until it reached 29.
1. When someone scrapes your whois information and calls you to pitch an SEO service. You’re like “I do SEO son, don’t make me punch you in the face for calling this number”
2. When someone asks the question “What is SEO”
3. When someone asks the question “To be #1 on Google don’t you just buy a bunch of domains and forward them to your website?”
4. When someone asks what your SEO secrets are.
5. When someone asks you to do SEO consulting for under $xxx per hour.
6. When you attend and SEO conference and strike up a conversation with some random person.
7. When you see someone building link wheels.
8. When someone’s website doesn’t have title tags and they are wondering why it doesn’t get any Google traffic
9. When someone asks you if they should use an SEO service from Fiverr
10. When someone is gaming the SERPs better than you
11. When someone tries to get you to do SEO for their site as a “favor”
12. When someone completely underestimates your SEO abilities until they see you making long island iced teas with a bottle of 40 year old scotch
13. When someone asks the question “Isn’t SEO when you like pay Google to come up number 1 for something?”
14. When one of your writers keyword sutffs like they are writing for a drunk and retarded Google spider
15. When a person asks what your secret link building tactics are after Penguin
16. When someone blogs about Link building being dead
17. When someone writes a blog post about the value of guest blog post links
18. When someone tells you that Link building is dead (yes I listed that twice because It pisses me off that much)
19. When a webmaster forgets to remove the noindex tags and goes live with your site
20. When you outrank an aged website with a web 2.0 property and some spam links (wait, thats when somebody else wants to punch me in the face)
21. When someone has more than 7 of the same out bound links on a page (excluding coupon sites)
22. When someone can’t grasp the R.O.I. they will get when paying for quality SEO work
23. When someone link request spams you
24. When someone wants to become your best friend just so you will do SEO for them
25. When someone thinks you can 301 a penalized domain to a brand new domain and get right back on the gravy train
26. When you go to college you will hear more stupid things about the SEO than you can count
27. When someone thinks Google’s search algos can’t be gamed
28. When you start up a discussion about link building on the SEOmoz Blog it shouldn’t take long for someone to say something worthy of a punch to the face
29. When someone tells you that “content is king”.
Have a stupid SEO experience to share? Comment below.